Movie reviews

Watched the first mission impossible movie today and i have some thoughts

First of all, as a czech guy it was kinda surreal to see and hear czech there and be able to recognize some of the places

Also side note, the czech police guys' voices were weird, idk if its like dubbed over or what but they sounded so weird

Also SPOILER i got to the scene where the guy was on the elevator and they killed him and i was like WHOA i didnt expect them to kill of someone in the first movie, AND THEN THEY JUST KEPT KILLING PEOPLE I WAS LIKE WHAAAAAT

The whole vault situation was... intense.. like i was glued to my seat not making a sound

And also like WHAT IN THE PLOT TWIST???????? I THOUGHT JIM WOULD BE COOL

And OH MY GOD THE SCENE WITH THE HELICOPTER IN THE TUNNEL???? BRO MY HEART WAS R A C I N G LIKE WHAAAAAT


Anyway i enjoyed it a lot and cant wait to watch the rest of them ^^

Alright so i just finished watching the second mission impossible and boy do i have thoughts

SPOILERS

So, first of all, were like what, three minutes into the movie?? and im like alright hes in a plane flying somewhere oh this guy knows him hmm alright.. oh thats weird why arent they fainting.. THATS NOT ETHAN???????? BRO WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS S H O O K E T H I WAS LIKE ????? Like nah in the first movie i think its just ethan whos dressing up as other people but now its like.. OTHER PEOPLE CAN DRESS UP AS HIM???? OKAY

Then it cuts to our boy on vacation and i havent even properly gotten comfy yet and my heart is already RACING, coz like WHERE IS YOUR CLIMBING GEAR???!! LIKE HE WAS JUST DANGLING THERE!!! WITH NO ROPES OR ANYTHING!!!! like ive seen clips of this stunt but BOY

Anyway then was the whole part with Nyah and that was like alright like you two litterary just met but okay whatever

Then the whole part with the CEO or something getting killed?? and then he was fine????? but ethan was there?????? So like was it real or not??????? Idk my brain may just be small but i dont really understand this part lol

Then OH MY GOD THE INFILTRATION OF THE BUILDING AND THE AUSSIE GUY WAS PERFECTLY DESCRIBING THEIR STRATEGY AND I WAS OOOOHHHH ETHANS IN TROUBLE AND THEN HE WAS!!!!!! AND THEN SHE INJECTED THE THING INTO HERSELF AND I WAS LIKE HOLLLY SHIT

And then the whole bunker scene, ethan looked really cool taking down the guys and then it came to the blonde guy and i was like OOOHH NO THIS DOESNT LOOK GOOD and then he saved it AND THEN THE BLOND GUY GOT HIM AND THEN HE BROUGHT HIM IN TO THE ROOM LIKE THAT AND I WAS LIKE NOOO MY BOY AND THEN THE AUSSIE GUY WAS FUCKING SHOOTING HIM AND I WAS LIKE NOOOOOO AND THE ACTUAL ETHAN TOOK OF HIS MASK AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED BRO MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR

And then he saved the day and the girl and im really glad that she didnt die


Excited to watch the third one apparently thats when it gets interesting

So
I just watched mission impossible three

Bro

What in the fuck

My heart was racing basically the entire movie

I'll need like three bussines days to emotionally recover

Like the movie JUST STARTED THE MOVIE HAS JUST STARTED MR CRUISE WE DONT NEED TO BE DOING ALL OF THAT

Also, i really thought the blonde girl would make it but thats on me expecting anyone to live

Also like OH MY GOD LEAVE HIM ALONE HE JUST WANTS TO LIVE LIFE WITH HIS WIFE AND DOGGO

But anyway, THE VATICAN????!!! i was on edge the entire time thinking oooh nooo someones gonna see them

And then the fucking bridge and he jumped over the hole and i almost screamed coz he didnt land like oh my god i thought he was gonna fall

Oh yea and the whole thing where they captured him.... i wanted to jump thru the screen and fucking punch them

And then they were in shanghai.. and the building leap.. AND THEN HE WAS GOING DOWN THE ROOF AND I DEADASS THOUGHT HE WAS GOING DOWN THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING AND I WAS SO FUCKING RELIEVED WHEN HE STOPPED

And then we looped back to the begining and i was nearly crying man I THOUGHT HE KILLED HER

Oh my god and then the whole thing where the thing in his brain started going off.. like i was ON THE EDGE of my seat man i was barely breathing

And then he was okay and i was S O relieved man

Also BENJI HES FINALLY HERE I LOVE HIM ALREADY


Also, sidenote, im sure our short king tried his best but i did NOT understand what he was saying at the airport when he was cosplaying a czech guy lol

Finished watching Ghost protocol

That was really good

Um

SO WHY IN THE HELL WAS ETHAN IN A FUCKING RUSSIAN PRISON?????!!!!!

And then the whole kremlin scene... bro i was holding my breath the entire time they were using the projector thingy in the hallway

And then when the other group got the files first and they blew the whole place up and then ethans escape.. like him on the window i was like please dont fall

And then they were in dubai and i was like yes ill finally see the famous stunt :))))

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME HE WOULD FUCKING FALL???!!!!!?? WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO CUT THE WINDOW?????? I ALMOST GOT A HEART ATTACK!!! I LEGIT HAD TO PAUSE THE MOVIE SO THAT I COULD CALM DOWN A BIT MR CRUISE DO NOT DO THIS TO ME

Alright and then they had to do the next thing without masks and i sat there nervous as hell

And then the chase through the sandstorm and bro that looked so scary like fr

And then he went back to the guy he helped out of prison and then he came back with an airplane and a really cool car

And then the whole segment in india bro my heart was R A C I N G when they were trying to stop the missile but it was too late and then ethan and the guy in the tall garage or something and they were just throwing the suitcase back and forth AND THEN THE CAR STARTED MOVING AND ETHANS LEG WAS UNDER IT AND WAS LIKE NOOO BUT HE GOT IT OUT AND THEN THE GUY JUMPED AND THEN ETHAN GOT INTO THE CAR AND HE FUCKING DROVE IT OFF THE EDGE AND HE FUCKING SLAMMED INTO THE GROUND but hes okay AND THEN HE WAS TRYING TO DESTROY THE BOMB BUT IT WASNT WORKING AND THEN AT THE LAST SECOND THEY GOT THE ELECTRICITY TO WORK AND IT WORKED AND THEY DESTROYED THE BOMB AND THE RELIEF. THE RELIEF MAN!!!!


Also Jane is so strong. Like damn i want to be strong like that too

AND THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

THIS MOVIE WAS LITTERARY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

Aight rogue nation time

That was

SO FUCKING GOOD MAN

OMG THE MUSIC????? THE MUSIC DURING THE OPERA AND HOW IT ELEVATED THE WHOLE SCENE?????? WHEN THEY GOT TO MOROCO??? WHEN THEY REVEAL ITS ETHAN WITH THE PRIME MINISTER?????????? I C O N I C CHEFFS KISS I FELT THIS MOVIE IN MY ORGANS MAN

Now to the story

Okay ive seen the whole scene with ethan on the plane but i didnt know that it was the opening scene, fucking ICONIC THE OTHER DOOR BENJI, I C O N I C

Then we get ethan in the store and i was oh hes getting another mission okay whats it gonna be this time :), uknow, not expecting THAT, and when he couldnt escape the box.. OH M A N

And then we cut to him fucking STRAPED TO A POLE??????? LIKE WHY DID THEY DO THAT AND THEY STARTED BRINGING ALL THESE FUCKING JIGSAW ASS TOOLS AND I WAS LIKE NOOOO MY BOY

And like i recognised Ilsa so i knew he would be okay probably BUT STILL

And then he escaped and then the phone call that they SHUT DOWN THE IMF???? AND HE LOOKED S O LOST MAN LIKE NOOO MY POOR BABY😭😭😭😭

And then they were like searching for him and i really thought that they found him BUT THEY DIDNT

And Benji playing halo 5, iconic

And oh my god. the whole opera thing. like i said. the music. the camera. the action. Might just be my favorite scene in the movie. Oh and nice tux by the way and shoes please. Iconic

And then ethan and benji went into the houseboat and ethan wanted benji to leave coz he was worried for his safety but benji wanted to stay coz he wanted to help ethan and hes his friend😭😭😭😭😭

And then they went to moroco and my god. I need to gush about the entrance again because MY GOD WAS IT EPIC. JUST THE SHOT OF THEM DRIVING THERE AND THEN JUST WALKING EPICLY TO HER LOCATION

And then the whole thing with getting the files. That was so stresfull man i thought that ethan would do it easily BUT THEN THE GUYS FIXED THE COOLING SYSTEM AND HE GOT SWEPT AWAY AND I WAS LIKE OH NO. AND THEN HE WAS STRUGGLING REAL BAD BUT HE DID IT AND THEN HE COULDNT OPEN THE DOOR AND I WAS LIKE O H N O. BUT THEN ILSA APPEARED AND SHE SAVED HIM. SHE SAVED HIM!!!!!!

AND THEN SHE TOOK THE DISK AND THEN THE CHASE. MAN M Y HEART WAS R A C I N G . AND THEN SHE STOOD THERE AND HE RATHER CRASHED HIS BIKE THAN CRASH INTO HER COZ HE DIDNT WANT TO HURT HER AND SHE KNEW THAT

AND THEN BENJI GOT FUCKING KIDDNAPPED????? AND THEY HAD TO GET THE PRIME MINISTER TO UNLOCK THE DISK

I genuinely thought that brandt betrayed them. BUT HE DIDNT IT WAS ALL PART OF THE PLAN BABEY

And then Benji had the bomb on him and i was fucking scared even tho i knew hed be okay

AND THEN THAT CHASE. ETHAN WAS LIMPING AND ILSA WAS HURT AND I WAS LIKE NOOOO

And then ethan jumped into the hole and i was like what are you doing you dont know where that leads to and then lane jumped in too and i was like oh no no no. BUT THAT WAS A PLAN TOO BABEY LANE CAUGHT AND DEFEATED WOOOHOOOOOO


I went into this knowing that its like the fan favorite AND RIGHTFULY SO THIS WAS PEAK

And Lane was genuenly so terrifying. Like i was genuinely scared of him.

Also when the prime minister was like yes i know the cindicate i was like HA suck it UP HUNLEY

10/10 my favorite so far

Alright in ready for the review now

So ive actually seen the opening scene so i knew that it was a dream but.. god.. still.... and then he woke up in that warehouse or something and just immediately reached for the gun and just...... my boy

Then the mission was revealed and they found the norwegian guy and like... it did make my skin crawl... but they got the code out of him and then THEY REVEALED THAT THAT WHOLE THING WAS STAGED???? I WAS LIKE WHAAAAT

Then they were in the tunnel thingy and they got Luther and i was so scared but then he was fine

And then we get introduced to this walker guy..... i did NOT like him from the get go and when they jumped out of that plane and ethan litterary saved his life and he wasnt even grateful???? Like, hes a secret agent but then he blacks out and then wakes up above a building and the second guy doesnt have his oxygen on then he doesnt put two and two together????? or he did and was just an asshole to ethan

Anyway, the bathroom fight, they kill "lark" and then ethan goes with the blonde girl, and now walker helped ethan when they were escaping all those guys and i thought huh, maybe hes actually good :))))))

Then i really liked the sequence where ethan imagined how theyre gonna get lane and i really liked that there was just soft music playing, at first i thought that it was really happening but then the gunshot sounded and u know and i just think that the music was a really good choice

And then it actually happens and when someone was getting lane out of the water i was like is that benji..? AND IT WAS I LOVE BENJI, and then the whole chase on the bike and i was just like please dont crash.. AND THEN HE DID but he was fine and then they got into the car AND THEN ILSA TRIED TO KILL LANE BUT MISSED AND ETHAN HAD TO FUCKING CRASH INTO HER but shes fine

And then the whole scene in the alley.... bro my heart.. i just want them to be happy...

And then the fucking sewer..... okay first of all.. so many plot twists.. my jaw was ON THE FLOOR MAN and i was RIGHT TO NOT LIKE WALKER THAT FUCKING SHITHEAD

Like, when they revealed that lane on the chair was actually Benji... WHAT, AND THEN THEY ALL TURNED ON WALKER AND I WAS LIKE YEAAAA GET HIS ASS but then the fucking CIA or some shit idk got there and messed the whole thing up.. and.. then.. hunley.... i straight up cried.. but maybe hell be fine maybe someone got him to a hospital uknow

And then the chase for walker and man i didnt even enjoy the funny bits coz i was still just shocked.. and ofc the jump where tom breaks his ankle.. that wasnt pretty.. and then ethan gets to him and is under the elevator AND HIS FACE WHEN FUCKASS SHOWS HIM THE PHOTO OF JULIA??? OKAY FIRST OF ALL IF YOU TOUCH HER I WILL BREAK ALL OF YOUR BONES AND SECOND OF ALL MY BOY ETHAN I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM AND KILL DICKHEAD

And then they meet up and when Luther i think said that lane is at a medical site in kashmir??? I was like oh no.. coz Julia is a nurse so i thought that he had the bombs there coz of her but maybe that was just a coincidence

But man when Julia shows up and just the look on ethans face... and then he said im working and Julia just KNEW. MY HEART HURTS MAN WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT

And then they split up to find the bombs and ethan goes in the helicopter, AND THEN JULIA JOINS LUTHER AND I JUST AAARRGHGHH

And then ilsa finds the second bomb AND LANE FUCKING GETS HER????? I WAS LIKE GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER I SWEAR TO GOD and then Benji gets there AND LANE FUCKING HANGS HIM AND HE ALMOST DIES???? MY POOR BENJI WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HIM, but Ilsa saves him

And then oh my god ethan. Okay first he almost fucking falls and then the fucking helicopter dogfight and then HIS HELICOPTER CATCHES ON FIRE AND THEN HE CRASHES INTO ASSHOLES HELICOPTER AND THEN THEY ARE FUCKING ROLLING TOWARDS THE CLIFF AND LIKE I KNOW THAT ETHAN SURVIVES BUT IT COMPLETELY FLIES OUT OF MY HEAD AND IM JUST PRAYING THAT HE SURVIVES

AND THEN THEY ARE FUCKING DANGLING ON THE ROPE OFC THE CLIFF AND THEN ETHAN FINALLY MANAGES TO KICK SCUMBAG OFF AND THEN HES CLIMBING TO GET THE DETONATOR AND THE GANG BACK AT THE BOMBS JUST CUT THEM AND MY HEARTBEAT WAS THRU THE ROOF

But they all did it and everything was fine

And then just Julia at ethans bed and i just.. crying

And then the speech she said to ethan was just so beautiful and they love each other so much and i love all of them SO much and im tearing up now just writting this


This movie was one big plot twist and heartbreak man 10/10

Alright review time

First of all, unrelated but it was such a hastle to find where to watch it, coz ive been watching them on this site but they didnt have dr so i had to scrape the bottom of the internet to find a site that had it bcus the movie isnt available in my country on all the like mainstream sites and it was just a lot but i found a site and hopefuly it will have tfr too

Now onto the movie

Okay let me just say throughout the entire movie either my jaw was on the floor or i was in tears, no in between

The fucking warehouse that ethan is in and the new guy and the mission and then he sais you made the right choice but he looks like he doesnt really mean it and its just *head in hands*

And then he goes to Ilsa in the desert and its just shes just so tired and then she sees ethan and MAN I THOUGHT SHE DIED IN THAT SCENE but she was okay :))))

And then they just talk about the fucking entity and its so fucking scary man, like its terrifying

Oh yea and fuck you kittridge

And then we meet Grace and i like her shes nice, and the fucking airport scene, LUTHER THE GOAT MY MAN LUTHER

And then the fucking bag with the bomb and its revealed that the entity is controlling it and Benji has to answer all of these things and he sais my friends and i was just SOBBING OH MY GOD, AND THEN HE STOPS IT AND THEN IT TURNS OUT THERES NOTHING IN THE BOMB AND THE ENTITY HAS ALL OF THESE INFORMATIONS ABOUT BENJI AND I WAS OH NO. THATS NOT GOOD.

And then the whole time in Rome. History ass looking ethan. Badass Paris. The fucking tiny ass yellow car was a welcome comedy relief i will say. And then ethan somehow avoids the metro and then gets on the surface AND BENJI AND THE GANG ARE THERE TO PICK HIM UP

And then there was the party and can i just say. I hate Gabriel. Like just shut up. Fuck off.

And then the chase and Benji is guiding ethan like usual but then the fucking.... the fucking bitch ass E takes over and i was so scared and then ethan gets cornered while Grace is trying to kill bitch ass G and then... i cried.

And then they were in the warehouse coming up with the plan and i really like luthers speech to ethan, it was really like powerful and just he cares about him SO much

And then the whole train. Obviously the ICONIC stunt, it was even scarier than in all those videos. Grace as alanna not accepting the money in the end, ethan getting the key somehow amids all the chaos, Paris getting fucking STABBED BY BITCH ASS G, Briggs just not being able to kill ethan, bitch ass G escaping WITHOUT THE KEY HAH SUCK THAT LOOSER, and then the bridge exploding and ethan and Grace parkouring to safety and my heart was RACING and then he took of to reunite with Benji and degas is saving Paris and Grace chooses to accept and i just *head in hands*

And then the speech at the end, like NO he WONT have to do that alone he has his FRIENDS at his SIDE😤


Also i really liked the soundtrack, still the rouge nation st is my fav but this one is prob second

Okay, on to the review..

*deep breath*

*trying not to cry*

The stakes.. jesus, i just want to say i was tense the entire movie and shaking for like the most of it, oh yea and in tears. My eyes were practically never dry.

Then we see our two bois and then ethan goes to another function and gets fucking KIDDNAPPED along with Grace and they end up in handcuffs again and, man, how he says its only pain.... MY BABYYYY😭😭 and then he fucking OBLITERATES the guys

And then theyre chasing bitch ass G and i thought they got him but no, he escaped but they found this box and i was like oh god what is that and its the fucking entity coffin and ethan went in and my god that was awfull to watch. And then he got out and just him asking if its real and the blood out of his ears and then he made Benji team leader and then he took of to.. my boy...

And of course bitch ass G got there first and fucked everything up. I was bawling my eyes out man.. like i accidentaly spoiled it a little bit but... still... i couldnt see what was happening on screen thru the tears

And ethan gets out and just.. he just surrenders himself... and then we learn that Briggs is actually jims son???????? HUH?????? And then they take ethan to the president and he convinces her to trust him.. one last time *head in hands* and she gives him the carrier and alright, i wont lie if felt comfy seeing the carrier and all those jets on it coz it reminded me of top gun and it was nice

Anyway they go up to find the submarine and he FUCKING JUMPS INTO THE FREEZING ASS WATER AND THEN HES LIKE OOH I DIDNT THINK THAT FAR :) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW HOW SCARED I WAS

But THE GAY SUBMARINE. WAS MAGNIFICENT and a much needed break coz up until this point i was tense, shaking and crying, and man i like captain bledsoe (hope im spelling it correctly) hes such a nice dude, oh yea and YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET

And then goes of into the sea and now its a straight up horror movie. The entire Sevastopol sequence is a horror movie. Like even the descent and then he got into the submarine and the noticed the corpses and just.. man.. shudders all over.. and then the submarine starts turning towards the cliff bcuz of course it does :)) but he gets to the thing and gets the podkova and im just screaming GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE but one of the torpedoes shuts the door and he cant move it so he goes ah yes, the shooting tubes for the torpedoes (forgot the name) and the first one is full and im just like oh my GOD and the second one is empty but HE CANT FIT THERE WITH ALL THE GEAR SO HE FUCKING RIPS OFF THE SUIT AND JUST GOES AND THEN JUST THE SHOT OF HIM FLOATING UP.... GOD

Oh yea and as all of that is going on, we have the gang trying to get coordinates of the Sevastopol to ethan, AND WE MEET FUCKING DONLOE. I LOVE THAT THEY BROUGHT HIM BACK I LOVE HIM but then the fucking guys show up and fuck everything up, and then its feeding time for the dogs and Grace goes with Tepeesa (hope im spelling it correctly) AND THEY TAKE OF TO RETRIEVE ETHAN and i just love their whole interaction

Back at their house THERES A FUCKING FIRE BUT DONLOE THE GOAT GETS OUT THE COORDINATES AND EVEN MANAGES TO FUCKING ENCRIPT THEM IN CASE ANYONE ELSE IS LISTENING

Back to ethan hes okay bcuz the girls saved him, and then it turns out theyll have to go to south africa to capture the entity

And OF COURSE BITCH ASS G IS THERE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP, with another bomb, and the gang has to split up and just the way donloe and his wife look at each other and say they will difuse the bomb.... AAAHH MY GOD *HEAD IN HANDS*

And then the fucking entity gets control over america too.. and just.... i was so happy that she decided not to press the button

Oh yea AND BENJI IS FUCKING INJURED HIS LUNG IS FUCKING COLLAPSING AND HES STILL ABLE TO GIVE GRACE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO CUT OF THE POWER OR SOMETHING AND TO PARIS ON HOW TO PERFORM THE SURFERY. IN TWO LANGUAGES!!!!!! CAN WE PRAISE BENJI FOR A BIT

Meanwhile the gang at the defusing figure out that maybe they can shut off the detonators too and i was like please work please be okay

And then ethan and the fucking biplanes. Bro my heart was leaping out of my chest the whole time i was going ETHAN! TOM! OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST but he managed to get to bitch ass G and take the virus THAT MY BOY THE GOAT LUTHER CREATED GIVE IT UP FOR LUTHER!!!!😭😭 and then bitch ass G fucking slit his head on the wing and okay it was a little looney tunes but idc

AND THEN THE ENGINE CATCHES ON FUCKING FIRE AND ETHAN HAS TO JUST OUT AND THEN HIS FUCKING PARACHUTE CATCHES ON FIRE SO HES JUST FALLING BUT HE MANAGES TO INSERT THE VIRUS INTO THE PODKOVA AND GRACE MANAGES TO CAPTURE THE BITCH AND TGE FUCKING. RELIEF I FELT. BRO THE RELIEF!!!!!! I DONT THINK IVE EVER FELT SOMETHING THAT INTENSE MAN

And then ethan lands on the ground safely THANK GOD and then the prerecorded message and i started bawling. I genuenly didnt even hear what he was saying i was sobbing so hard

And then the final scene in london where everyone is shown to be okay and ethan smiles and goes off into the crowd.. WITH MCQ ACTUALLY


Hoooolly hell man, what a movie, what a franchise, i can't believe its over, it feels like it just started

I loved all the little flashbacks to the previous movies AND THE SOUNDTRACK. HOOO BOY THE SOUND IN THIS IS AMAZING. Probably my second favorite soundtrack out of all of them

I genuenly loved all of these movies SO much and will be rewatching them sometime

Alright rewatched top gun its review time

Okay, the opening text with the on March 3rd bla bla and then BOOM its TOP GUN, I C O N I C

And then it cuts to sunrise on the carrier, f14s coming and going and top gun anthem in the background and then its BAM HIIIIGHWAY TOOO THE DANGER ZONE, love it, iconic ten out of ten could watch that for an hour straight

'Whos up there?' 'Maverick and Goose.' 'Great. Maverick and Goose.' lol

'Is this your idea of fun mav?'

'Watch the birdie!'

Amazing

I like that mav comes back for cougar and poor cougar man

The scene where jester is introducing them to the school and half of the pairs have their arms around each other

'This gives me a hard on.' 'Dont tease me.' hollywolf original couple i will forever love you

Icemav starring at each other, Viper immediately liking mav, gooses honking laugh, i love this scene man

Then of course, the bar. So many great things. Mavs heart eyes at ice. 'Well the list is long but distinguished.' 'Yea so is my johnson.' 'Figured it out yet?' AND THE SMILE MAV SENDS GOOSE AFTER THAT INTERACTION. ICE LOOKING AT MAVS LIPS. 'You need to have carnal knowledge of a lady this time'. This movie is so gay

YOU LOST THAT LOVING FEEELING

Sunny and chipper are so drunk lol. AND MAV GOING AFTER CHARLIE INTO THE LADIES ROOM

And then of course the reveal. 'The data on the MiG is inaccurate.' 'Well i just happened to see a-WE' 'Sorry goose, we' i'll forever love you goose hes such a sunshine

'Because i was inverted' 'Bulshit'

'You look great honey.' 'Thanks dear.' DO YOU SEE THIS I LOVE THEM

And then the hop. 'Come on mav do some of that pilot shit' and he did some of that pilot shit. AND THE FLYBY, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE

'You two really are cowboys'

'Thats right! Ice.. man, i am dangerous.'

*chomp*

Just kiss already

'I WANT SOME BUTTS!' love that guy he just wants some butts and to drink his drink in peace

And then goose having the talk with mav and mav taking him completely seriously and promising to be more careful. AND HIM SAYING GOOSE IS THE ONLY FAMILY HES GOT OH MY GOD I WANT TO HUG HIM😭😭😭

'Slider.. you stink'

And then PLAYING, PLAYING WITH THE BOYS dududutudu ILL BE STAYING, PLAAAYING WITH THE BOOOOYS with the booys~ AFTER CHASING SUNSETS, ONE OF LIFES SIMPLE JOOOOYS IS THE BOYS

Also mr jeans and the sweatpants brothers, idk who said it but someone in the tag named them like this and i love it

Oh yea and 'MOTHER GOOSE YOU PUSSY'

Okay can i just say that mav is fucking beautiful during the whole dinner with Charlie. I mean during the whole movie but especially here. Like, those eyes. Like shut up. Anyway

Elevator scene added afterwards to make the movie straighter but did not accomplish that whatsoever. Id actually say it made it even gayer.

CAROLE OH MY GOD I LOVE CAROLE

They way that mav looks at them with just that smile he loves them SO much man😭😭😭 honestly my expression was the same

And then mav is right, like, charlie called him reckless and then almost caused a car crash

And then the shower scene after hop 19 i think it was. Fellas is it gay to puff up my chest and do all that while critisizing my "rival" and fellas is it gay to arch my back like that at my "rival". Also why was slider almost laying in gosses lap on the bench. This movie is so gay i swear

And then. YOU SHAKE MY NERVES AND YOU RATTLE MY BRAIN GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE. Baby Bradley. Also just the fact that Charlie is right there yet mav chooses to sit next to Carole furthest from Charlie AND WITH HIS ARM ON CAROLES SHOULDERS. 'Take me to bed or lose me forever.' 'Show me the way home honey.'

And then nothing happened on hop 31 and goose is completely fine trust i was the water :))))

I just want to hug mav so much man like just the shot of him in the jet after and hes trying so hard not to cry like MY HEART MY BABYYYY😭😭😭😭

And then vipapa invites him home and tells him he flew with his dad and the truth and its just really sweet

And then the graduation and theyre immediately called to action. 'If not i'll fly with you' about the rio thing. BAAAHHAAAAA😭😭😭

And then the mission (heh) and hollywolf are almost immediately hit BUT THEYRE OKAY and then ice has to hold fucking six migs back before mav gets there and then mav shoots down three of them. And just Merlin going 'Youre gonna do WHAT'

And then icemav do a flyby, theyre boyfriends ur honor

'You can be my wingman anytime. 'Bulshit you can be mine.' and then they hug. And then slider shakes mav like a dogtoy

And then mav throws gosses dog tags into the sea and i really like what someone has said in the tag that hes burying him in the sea where he can be close to him

And then icemav fly off into the sunset gayly


THE END

Next on the movie list is Real genius, so lets review it

Going into this i basically just kinda knew what Chris is like and that theres gonna be some kind of a laser

So i was a little surprised to start the movie and the fucking CIA being there???

Then we meet Mitch and hes got embarrasing parents, as one does

AND THEN WE MEET CHRIS and ooooo i like him, were kinda similar

And then Mitch goes to the school and i LOVE the school it looks so fun with all the drawings everywhere and everything

And then Mitch goes into his room and i love the look of it, and then Chris is there and he just wips out all these gadgets and Mitch is like ???

Oh yea and the guy with the long hair that lives in their closet, i was like ??? whats up with him

And then Mitch goes into the lab and mr 'i cant believe someone younger than me is gonna be giving me orders so im gonna be a real prick about it' is there and is a real dickhead to Mitch

And then the scene where they made the ice slide, i LOVED that and we meet the talkative girl and i like her, and i just like how everyone on this school is a little weird

And then its the morning and THE PICKLE DREAM i knew about the pickle dream too, and i love chris' slippers

And then Jerry wants the laser way sooner so Mitch and Chris gotta lock in- well Mitch does and Chris is like and now we chacha~, hes such a fun character i love him

And then Chris changes the angle of one of the mirrors and then uknow invites his friends to this pool party AND IT LOOKS SO FUN I WANNA GO TOO

But of course the blond guy snitches and ruins everything

And then poor Mitch is overworked and calls his parents and is like i dont wanna be here anymore, which was totaly valid and id probably done the same thing, but they started renting his room????? Um, rude???? You didnt even ask him????? And then the blond guy records the phone call and then plays it in front of the whole school and i felt so bad like poor Mitch i wanted to punch the guy

And the conversation with Chris and he tells him that he was just like him uknow studying all the time and everything and not having fun and he was just trying to help Mitch loosen up

And then Mitch goes into their closet once more and this time closes the door and then a door opens and he goes down into the sewers on this like car and the guy with the long hair is there and im like WHOA

And then Jerry kicks Chris out of the school?????? Like excuse you??????

And then its the test and the blonde guy messes up with the lenses in the laser machine and then it explodes and i was like NOOOOO

But because of that Chris is able to solve the problem they were having and complete the laser! suck that blonde guy!!!!

And before i thought that this would be the end of the movie but thats not the case

So they go celebrate and then the long haired guy comes out of his chamber to ask them if they know why Jerry wanted the laser so badly, and then the true purpose of it is revealed and obviously theyre all upset, so they set out a plan to find the laser

And they fucking gass the blonde guy and implant a speaker in his braces?? okayy creative

And then Mitch is like this is Jesus speaking and i lost it lol

But they find out where the laser is and first they a HECKING lot of popcorn kernels in Jerrys house and then they drive to the air force base and they get on the plane with the laser and they like replace a part of the computer with their own and they put their own coordinates of what the laser should hit

And then theyre almost busted AND JERRY FINDS THE COMPONENT ON THE FLOOR but fortunately doesnt have a chance to speak about it

And then they start the laser test AND THEY HIT JERRYS HOUSE AND ALL THE POPCORN JUST COMES POURING OUT OF IT HAH SUCK IT JERRY THATS WHAT YOU DESERVE


This movie was so much fun and i really liked the music in it and val was amazing in this i really liked Chris, probably my fav character from this movie

I couldnt watch anything for like six days and was going a little crazy

BUT I FINALLY HAD TIME TO WATCH SOMETHING TODAY COLLATERAL TIME BABEY LETS GO

So we start the movie with Vincent and like.. okay.. seems a little cold, i wouldnt approach him but if you didnt know anything about this movie youd think he was fine

Then we meet our boy Max, i like Max hes just a sweet guy

And then he picks up Annie and he gives her his photo and i was like aawww and then she gives him her number and again like aaww

I thought that since shes a judge, and i knew something about this movie, that Max and Vincent would get caugth somehow and thats where they would meet again, i was wrong :)))

So then Vincent grabs the taxi and at first everythings fine.... THEN THE GUY FALLS ON THE FUCKING CAR I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING

And Max is obviously like WHAT THE HELL DUDE and Vincent is like he fell:)

And after a while he gets him to drive again and then the cops pull them over and i was like oh no is this it?? but no the cops get called to another place and they drive off

And then the guy.. fanny i think?? was supposed to meet with the now dead guy and starts the investigation

While Vincent fucking HANDCUFFS MAX TO HIS WHEEL WHAT THE FUCK and goes to kill another guy

And Max yells out for help and then someone comes and i really thought they were gonna help him, but no the guy steals Vincents suitcase and then he kills the guys for that and Max is again like ??? WHY DID YOU DO THAT

And then they have some time to kill so Vincent is like ya like jazz? and Max is like no not really, so they go to a jazz club and Vincent asks the owner a jazz question and the owner gets it wrong SO HE FUCKING KILLS HIM????? or maybe he was on the list and i didnt catch it idk

And then they go visit Maxs mom in the hospital and at this point my feelings about Vincent are so conflicted, coz on one hand he kills people for a living but then hes like you should buy your mom flowers

And then Max sees an opportunity and grabs Vincents suitcase and fucking BOLTS

And then hes chasing him and then Max throws the suitcase over the bridge and everything in it breaks

So then Vincent forces Max to go this boss i think and be like sowwy i lost the list can u give me a new one

And Max OBVIOUSLY doesnt want to but goes anyway

BUT NOW THE COPS HAVE FOOTAGE OF MAX SAYING HES VINCENT SO THEY THINK HES THE MURDERER SO THEY GO AFTER HIM but the one guy is like ummmm i think we got it wrong and i was like YES YOU GOT IT WRONG OH MY GOD

So now im scared outta my ass that theyre gonna kill my boy Max

And they go to a club so Vincent can kill another guy, but the cops get there too and im TENSE and then Vincent sees all the cops and he starts taking them down and then our good cop gets to Max and is like i know youre just a driver let me get you out of here and im like YEA GET HIM OUT OF THERE THANK YOU

And then they get outside and Vincent is there AND HE FUCKING SHOOTS THE COP, LIKE, YOU COULDNT WAIT A BIT SO THAT HE COULD TELL HES CHILL???

And Max is PISSED at this point plus Vincent starts yapping about how nothing matters and Max is like ill show you a nothing matters AND FUCKING CRASHES THE CAR

AND THEN WHEN IT SETTLES VINCENT JUST GETS OUT AND LEAVES?????? OKAY LIKE BYE BITCH

And then Max SEES FUCKING ANNIE ON THE LIST AND HES LIKE OH NO AND IM LIKE OH NO SO HE BOLTS AFTER VINCENT

And he gets to her building just in time to call her to warn her BUT VINCENTS ALREADY IN THE BUILDING OH MY GOD AND THEN HE FUCKING CUTS OFF THE ELECTRICITY AND THEN HE GETS TO WHERE SHE IS AND IM FUCKING T E N S E

AND THEN HE FINDS HER BUT MAX GETS THERE AND SHOOT VINCENT AND THEN THEY RUN OFF TO THE METRO BUT VINCENTS FOLLOWING THEM AND HE FUCKING GETS ON THE METRO THEY ARE AT

AND THE TWO ARE HIDING AND THEN THEY ARE AT THE FRONT SO THEY HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO AND VINCENT GETS THERE AND STARTS FUCKING SHOOTING THE DOOR BUT MAX IS THERE AND HE MANAGES TO SHOOT HIM

And then the lights get back on and Vincent is out of bullets and im like oh thank god and then they just sit down and then Vincent dies

And then Max and Annie get out of the metro and leave him there


I really liked the music in this one and the aerial shots of when they were driving and with the city at night and all the lights and the palm trees.. like those scenes were so chill and just vibes all around

Also i can see why people say this is Toms best role, like the whole segment where hes looking for Annie... i shat my pants bro that was terrifying

But overall i enjoyed it a lot, a total tonal shift from all the previous movies lol

Okay Jerry Maguire time!

So we start the movie seeing Jerry in his element

And then hes on that plane and theres the woman and ive seen gifs and stuff so im like oooh its her

And then we get the sweet moment between them and i know theyre gonna get together so im just kicking my feet smilling

And then Jerry is writting the spiel and then he gets to work and everyones clapping for him and at this point im thinking, coz i know this is the breakdown movie, this doesnt seem so bad whens it gonna go bad? and then the guy said well give him about a week and i was like oh

And then the guy fucking fires him because he wanted to get closer to his clients??? and then theyre fighting over the clients over the phones and Jerry manages to get ONE client and its Rod

And then Jerry does the im divorcing you and taking the fish, and hes like who wants to come with me AND DOROTHY COMES WITH HIM

And then he manages to get cush too and it doesnt seem so bad tbh

But then they get with another agent or something and Jerry is left with just Rod

And then he tries to break up with his girlfriend AND SHE FUCKING PUNCHES HIM?????? LIKE MAN I GET YOURE UPSET BUT HUHH???

And then he gets drunk and goes to Dorothys house and he kisses her and shes like ?? what are you doing and he then apologizes

And then he takes her out to dinner and hes like WOW at her dress

And then they get back and he leans in for a kiss but is like no i shouldnt BUT SHE LEANS IN TOO OH MY GOD

Okay side note, the nanny kinda looks a little bit like goose

And then its the morning and Dorothys telling her sister she loves him AND OF COURSE HE HEARS IT

And then they have the chat with Rod and his wife

And then Dorothy was like im gonna take that job in San Diego and i was like NOOOO MAN JERRY LOOKED SO SAD NEXT TO THE VAN

But then he was like will you marry me and i was like YOOOOOOOO

AND THEN THEY GOT MARRIED WOOOOO

And then they were all watching the video from the day and the camera zoomed in on Jerrys face and i was like wait a minute.... coz he looked like.. unsure?? i guess

And then there was the montage of Jerry going around the world with Rod and Dorothy at home without him and i was like WHATS GOING ON

And then Jerry is finally back at home and they have the conversation in the garden.. and MY HEART MAN

And then the day of the big match and im rooting for Rod AND THEN HE SCORES A TOUCHDOWN i think thats the name AND I WAS LIKE WOOOOOO

But then hes NOT MOVING and his wife is calling Jerry and im just praying that hes okay AND HES STILL NOT MOVING THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES, AND THEN THEYRE SHOWING THE CLIP OF HIM HITTING THE GROUND AND IM LIKE OH NO IM STARTING TO CRY

AND THEN HE BLINKS OH MY GOD HE FUCKING BLINKS AND IM SO RELIEVED MAN

And then the press is surrounding him but hes like wheres Jerry? and im like BBAAHHAAA HE HAS ALL THIS ATTENTION HES ALWAYS WANTED BUT HE CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT JERRY OH MY GOD AND THEN THEY HUG

And then Rod calls his wife and i think Jerry realizes whats important and he books it out of there TO GO BACK TO HIS WIFE

And then he gets there and hes like our company just had a big night but it wasnt right because you werent there AND IM JUST AAAAAAA

And then shes like you had me at hello and im just AAAAAAA OH MY GOD IM TEARING UP AGAIN


This movie was so nice and cute and everything

Also is there gonna be a Cruise movie thats NOT gonna make me tear up-

Just finished Valkyrie

So i obviously knew how it all ends, we talked about it in school so i knew that the meeting had to be relocated and the reasons why it failed

But anyway

So we start in North Africa and i get to the.. shot.. ehm.. damn thats real okay-

And then the hospital and i was like oh is that his wife? and it was, and okay i knew about the eye but i didnt know about the hand and fingers i wonder how they did that

And then the whole gang gets together and figures out how to get rid of hitler and they come up with the bomb

And then they get into action and the first attempt fails because SOMEONE isnt in the meeting

And then on the second attempt it has to be held in the wooden cottage and we all know how that went

But our man thinks hes dead and so when he gets to Berlin and sees no action because someone didnt order anything hes like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YALL DOING GET INTO ACTION

And they start taking control but obviously the cunt isnt actually dead so hes like WHAT are you doing stop and he orders Stauffenberg and all the other guys to be arrested

So they get arrested and are set to die even tho hitler wanted them alive??? i think at least

So they go one by one and then the lieutenant whos name i forgot goes to stand in front of Stauffenberg when its his turn and tbh it was kinda ??🏳️‍🌈??> And then Stauffenberg gets shot last and we see his goodbye with his wife


Alright even tho i knew what would happen it was still thrilling and i was tense ngl

I dont know how accurate it is since we only went over it briefly but id say at least in the major things it is accurate

Oh yea and i LOVED Toms performance i think he played it great

I just finished watching the last samurai and boy oh boy do i have thoughts

I was SO excited for this movie coz its uknow Japan and stuff and also because i did jiu jitsu for like a year (i wanna be doing it again so bad u dont even know-)

I just wanna say before i start, i am not surprised they dedicated a whole day to him after this

It opens with some saying about the samurai i dont remember oops, and then we see our guy, drunk as hell and he has to give a speech to the people about their last battle against native americans

And then hes presented with the option to go to Japan to train their army to fight against the rebelion and hes like oooo money so he takes it

And then we learn that he wasnt maybe that happy with the murdering of the native americans and hates the guy with the mustashe

So they go to Japan and find out the army cant even shoot right and then the mustashe guy is like well go into battle tomorow and nathan is like are you stupid but i guess hes a higher rank so they go

And then they arrive at the site and go into the forest to battle the samurai and then its like quiet and then you can hear their battle cry and like.. chills man

And then the soldiers dont listen to nathan and just start shooting so the samurai overpower them and they manage to corner nathan and hes fighting like crazy and the leader katsumoto sees this and he reminds him of the tiger so he lets him live and they take him back to their village

And okay just the shot of the leader in full armor with the helmet... holly molly

And so nathan is in the village and after he heals he gets taken to the leader and they have a conversation

And then nathan is slowly learning the ways of the people and hes connecting to them

And i like the scene in the rain when the super good guy i forgot his name challenges him to a fight with the wooden swords and nathan fails every single time but hes still getting up and trying to fight

And then hes starting to learn japanese and the scene where he puts the kimono on and is trying out moves and the kid sees him

And then hes actually training again with the super good guy and two times he fails but then he locks in AND DEFEATS HIM WOOOOO

And then katsumoto and him have a nice long chat about Bushido and what it means to be a samurai

AND THEN THE FUCKING NINJA ATTACK OH MY GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

And then the emperor granted them a safe way to Tokyo so that nathan can get back and he obviously doesnt want to go

And just their arrival man.. so cool

AND THEN KATSUMOTO GETS FUCKING ARRESTED and nathan is like not on my watch AND THE WHOLE GANG BAILS HIM OUT BUT THEN THE CHEERFUL GUY DIES OH MY GOD

And then they all go back to the village and prepare to fight the army

And oh my god the fight just... god damn

And they managed to scare the army away but they know they will send reinforcements and they know they can't win against them all but they still go

And then the second wave comes AND NATHAN KILLS THE FUCKASS WITH THE MUSTASHE YESSSS

BUT THEN THE OLD GUY SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR NATHAN OH MY GOD

And then the generals or some shit bring out the like rotating gun idk how its called and the samurai just start dying bcuz of course its a fucking gun

And then one of the generals can't watch it anymore and he orders to stop

But katsumoto and nathan are still alive and its obvious they lost so katsumoto wants nathan to kill him and he does and then hes like perfect and im crying

And then when the leader dies all of them just take of their hats and get on their knees to show respect and that was so powerful man

And then back in Tokyo the ambassador wants the emperor to sign the treaty but nathan gets there in the middle and gives the emperor katsumotos sword and HE TAKES IT HE MADE HIM LISTEN GUYS

And then the emperor is like fuck your treaty we want to be independent and he keeps the sword as a reminder of where they came from


This was fucking amazing and just so powerful and amazing

AND THE MUSIC!!!!!! OH MY GOD THE MUSIC WAS GODTIER IT WAS SOOOO GOOD

I just watched fucking war of the worlds

Oh my god

Okay

I kinda knew what i was getting into but my god, this is the scariest movie besides actual horror ive watched, if its not classified as horror which i feel like it could be

So the movie starts with the parents giving their kids for Ray to babysit and Robbie is a classic teenager lol

So its all chill for a moment and then.... the storm... and then the lightnings hit the same fucking place 26 times in a row????? I was like wtf????

And then the electricity is out and im like okay happens AND THE PHONES AND WATCHES AND CARS TOO?????? HUH??????

And Ray goes out to investigate and they all gather at the hole and then the ground just starts rumbling and then it spreads and goes thru buildings and the church and it tears the church in half AND THEN THE FUCKING ALIEN MACHINE COMES OUT OF THE GROUND AND THEN IT JUST STARTS SHOOTING PEOPLE BUT NOT WITH NORMAL BULLETS NO WITH SOME FUCKING LASER OR SOME SHIT AND THE PEOPLE TURN INTO DUST IMMEDIATELY

ABD RAY JUST MANAGES TO NOT GET HIT SOMEHOW

And then he gets home and hes fucking covered in ashes....

And the kids are like whats going on and Ray is just like pack ur things we have to get out of here

And they manage to get the only working car and get out of there

So they arrive at the parents house and they arent there theyre in Boston, so they go down into the basement

And then at night the things like break the little windows so they get into the other room AND SUDDENLY THERES FIRE??!!! OH MY GOD

But they make it thru the night and then Ray ventures out and we get some insight into whats going on by the reporter

And then they get into the car and continue to Boston

And then Rachel has to go to the toilet and she goes like next to the river and then the fucking body floats by... and then the river is just full of bodies man, like the fucking chills i got

And then Robbie wants to go fight the things and THATS A TERRIBLE IDEA MAN LEAVE THAT TO THE TRAINED MILITARY

So they continue and they get to the town and there are swarms of people and they see a car and they start FUCKING JUMPING ON THE CAR AND THEY BREAK INTO AND THEY KIDS GET ALMOST SEPARATED but then the guy that had the gun at least let Ray get Rachel

And then they go sit in the diner AND THEM WE HEAR A GUNSHOT FROM THE GUN RAY HAD TO DROP and im fucking sick man like i know that they are all desperate but im still sick from that man

AND THE FUCKING SOB RAY LETS OUT LIKE MY MAN IS JUST TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER FOR HIS KIDS MAN

And so they continue on foot and they get to the ferry AND THEN THE THINGS ATTACK AGAIN LIKE CAN THEY FUCKING CHILL

AND THE FERRY GUY IS LIKE WE GOTTA GO NO MORE PEOPLE AND RAY AND THE KIDS ARE NOT ON THE BOAT YET AND IM FUCKING S C A R E D

BUT THEN THEY GET ON IT SOMEHOW

But they dont get too far BECAUSE THE THINGS CREATE A FUCKING WHIRLPOOL???????? AND THE BOAT GOES ON ITS SIDE AND RAY AND THE KIDS ARE IN THE WATER AND THEN THEY TURN AND THEY ARE RIGHT AT THE FUCKING MOTOR OR SOME SHIT SO THEY GOTTA SWIM AWAY REAL FAST

And they get to shore and then they just continue

And then they get to the hill and the military is there ready to fight the things AND ROBBIE WANTS TO GO WITH THEM AGAIN so Ray leaves Rachel at the tree to go get Robbie and as hes talking some sense to him THESE PEOPLE COME TO RACHEL AND WANT TO TAKE HER AWAY like okay they thought shes alone like they just wanted to help BUT MY GOD

AND SO RAY HAS TO FUCKING CHOOSE AND HE CHOOSES RACHEL AND HE GETS TO HER and im thinking nice now he can go back for Robbie AND THEN THE FUCKING TANKS AND CARS COME ROLLING DOWN THE HILL IN FIRE AND THEN EVERYTHING FUCKING EXPLODES AND IM LIKE NOOOO ROBBIEEEEE

But Ray has to get the hell out of there and then some guy waves at him to come down to his basement and they do

And oh my god when Ray started singing that song i fucking broke down i was c r y i n g

But Rachel falls asleep and the guy and Ray have a chat and the guy is like we have to kill these things and Ray is like idk man seems kinda stupid

And then the things fucking BREAKS THRU THE CEILING AND THEN THE FUCKING TENTACLE WITH THE FUCKING EYEBALL COMES THRU AND THEY HAVE TO HIDE FROM IT i was barely breathing i was so quiet

And they are avoiding it BUT THEN THE GUY STANDS THERE WITH AN AXE AND RAY IS LIKE DONT YOU DARE BLOW OUR COVER and he doesnt hit it THANK GOD

AND THEN THE FUCKING ALIENS THEMSELVES GET THERE AND IM LIKE EEEEW JUST THE WAY THEYRE MOVING

AND THEN ONE OF THEM FUCKING JUMPS ON THE CHAIR RACHEL IS IN AND I JUMP OUT OF MY SEAT THAT SCARED ME SO BAD

But then they fucking leave finally

And then the scene where Ray is looking out the window and it shows the thing FUCKING SUCKING THE BLOOD OUT OF THE POOR HUMAN LIKE OH MY G O D

And then the guy starts going crazy and is being loud so Ray tells Rachel to sing a lullaby to herself and to not listen and he goes to kill the guy coz otherwise he would get them killed

And then they go to sleep and then Rachel wakes up to a sound AND THE FUCKING TENTACLE IS RIGHT THERE!!!!!!! i thought it was her nightmare or something BUT NO IT WAS VERY REAL

AND SHE FUCKING BOLTS IT AND THEN RAY WAKES UP AND HE FUCKING GOES AT THE TENTACLE WITH THE AXE AND MANAGES TO MAKE IT RETREAVE

But then Rachel is nowhere so he goes outside and the fucking red things are there and then he looks over the hill and the whole area is just red... like it looks like a fucking blood ocean

BUT THEN ONE OF THE ALIEN THINGS SHOWS UP AND TAKES RACHEL!!!!!

And Ray finds some grenades and fucking THROWS IT AT THE THING BUT THAT JUST MAKES IT NOTICE HIM AND IT TAKES HIM TOO

And they are both thrown into this fucking basket and all these other people are there

AND THEN THIS FUCKING THING COMES OUT AND FUCKING SUCKS ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN

AND THEN IT COMES OUT AGAIN AND GOES FOR RAY AND THIS TIME THE PEOPLE ARE LIKE LETS TRY TO PULL HIM OUT BUT RAY MANAGES TO GRAB TWO GRENADES AND THEY PULL HIM OUT AND THE GRENADES EXPLODE AND IT KILLS THE THING WOOOOOOOOOOOO

And after that they finally get to Boston and the red things are now white... and then we see one of the big machines slowly withering away.. BUT THEN ANOTHER ONE COMES SO EVERYONE GETS INTO THE TUNNEL but Rachel notices the crows and i guess they are like damaging the thing

And then the soldiers fire at the thing and they manage to bring it down and then the alien just like rolls out of there and dies

And then its over and Ray and Rachel finally get to the house the parents are staying in AND RACHEL IS REUNITED WITH THEM

AND THEN IT TURNS OUT THAT ROBBIE SOMEHOW SURVIVED AND GOT THERE BEFORE THEM OH MY GOD I WAS SO GLAD


What an experience man

Im gonna have nightmares lol

Guys i just watched vanilla sky

Um

What the fuck did i just watch

What is real what the fuck

So we start with the famous time square scene that cost them idk how much and honestly i thought it would be like in the middle or at the end of the movie so i was really surprised

And then we find out its just a dream and David goes out with his buddy Brian before going to work

And then he arrives at work AND HIS GREEN BUCKET HAT I LOVE HIS GREEN BUCKET HAT and then we learn all about him how he got the job and everything

And then hes hosting a birthday party AND WE MEET SOFIA I LOVE SOFIA and Julie is being a little creepy ngl

And then David and Sofia go to her place and spend the whole night together and they draw each other and then in the morning David has to go to work so he goes for his car AND THEN JULIE FUCKING APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE???? UM.. CREEPY??? but she convinces him to go with her and then she just starts going at him like how she loves him but he sees her as a friend and then she starts speeding up and im like okay i understand youre upset but dont you think that maybe YOU SHOULDNT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSTATION IN A CAR????!!!!

AND THEN SHE DRIVES THEM OFF OF THE FUCKING BRIDGE

And now shes dead and Davids got a broken face and arm and is in a coma but comes out of it

Oh yea and throughout all of this we get these bits of him in prison????? and he killed somebody??? but doesnt remember it???

And it takes him some time to be ready to be seen even in the mask the doctors gave him, oh yea and the doctors, hes like i can barely function my brain isnt working correctly and theyre like okay heres a mask :)))) and im like THATS NOT GONNA HELP HIS BRAIN THO U STUPID FUCKS

And then he goes to this party with Brian and Sofia and hes like grumpy and shit and theyre telling him look we get it but you have to get it together

And then Sofia runs of and Brian goes of too so David goes to another bar table and gets drunk and then finds them again and then they leave and hes still drunk and they argue a bit and Sofia goes first and then Brian and then he runs after them and then just falls to his knees and falls asleep on the sidewalk AND THIS MOMENT IS VERY IMPORTANT BUT I DIDNT KNOW IT AT THAT TIME YET

So then he wakes up to Sofia and shes like i still like you dont worry

And then the doctor was like we can attempt this surgery that will fix your face and hes like yes lets do it

And it was successful and things seem good now

And then the mind fuckery started

So he was sleeping and then he woke up and was thirsty or something so he went to his sink and he turned the light on AND HIS FACE WAS FUCKED UP AGAIN I WAS LIKE HUUUH?????

But then he actually woke up and i was like oh it was just a dream but he went to the sink again and this time his face was fine so he went back to bed AND JULIE WAS THERE???????? WHAT THE FUCK AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE IM SOFIA AND I WAS LIKE ?????????

And then these mind fuckeries just keep on coming and then his psychiatrist was like who Ellie and we were both like ??????? who?????

And then hes in the restaurant and theres this guy and hes like you are god David and hes like yea sure okay i want these people to shut up

AND THEY DO?????? I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

And then he was back with Sofia and they were in bed uknow AND THEN SHE FUCKING TURNED INTO JULIE?????? AND DAVID WAS LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING AND THEN HE FUCKING SUFFOCATED HER BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY SOFIA AND IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

And then were back with the psychiatrist and hes like do you know the guy from the restaurant and Davids like no and then he says thats all the time ive got and then David sees the guy at the tv in relation to the dog and hes like GET BACK IN HERE I KNOW WHO HE IS

So they go together to this organization LE and guys i think who Ellie is now

And they get to this woman and she starts yapping about what the company does and on the pamphlets theres this thing called lucid dreaming or something and David asks about it and then shes like oh its when we freeze you at some point of your life and then youre just dreaming and controlling everything and in like OH, i may have a bit of an idea of whats going on here but also what the fuck

And then she litterary calls him by his name and starts saying some shit and David freaks out and runs of and his psychiatrist runs after him and hes like im real David theyre talking shit but David believes them and so hes like take of the mask and if your face is fucked youre right

So David takes of the mask and his face is fine and im like oh so they were talking shit, AND THEN HE LOOKS INTO THE MIRROR AND HIS FACE IS FUCKED AGAIN????? AND SO DAVID HAS A FUCKING BREAKDOWN AND RUNS OF AND FINDS A GUN AND KILLS THE POLICE GUY THAT WAS SHOOTING AT HIM AND THEN THE PSYCHIATRIST RUNS ONTO THE SCENE BUT THE POLICE GUYS STARTS SHOOTING AND THEY SHOOT BOTH OF THEM AND IM LIKE OH MY GOD

But then theyre fine, like, not a scratch and then the guy from the restaurant appears and takes David to the elevator and theyre going up and he tells David the whole story of how hes actually dreaming right now and we learn that from HIM FALLING ASLEEP ON THE PAVEMENT ITS ALL BEEN A DREAM, MAN WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS FLABBERGASTED, I WAS SHOOKETH MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR

And then hes telling what happened in reality about how David could barely function and was misserable but then found the company and everything and Brian did a remembering recemony for him after he got frozen and Sofia came too

And then they get on the roof and the guy is telling him that he can either continue the dream or jump off the roof and wake up

And the psychiatrist gets there and is like DONT DO IT IM REAL DONT YOU SEE and then the guy asks him about the names of his daughters and he cant tell him and then Brian and Sofia are there and David decides he wants to wake up because while the dream Sofia is great shes nothing like the real thing

And so he jumps and then wakes up to a voice of a woman


Ive seen someone describe this as a feel good movie BRO THIS WAS NOT FEEL GOOD THIS WAS FUCKING MIND BLOWING FUCKERY THAT WILL MAKE YOU QUESTION WHATS REAL AND WHATS NOT

That said i enjoyed it a lot lol

Okay so i just watched the mummy (2017)

Again i knew nothing about it except for the zero g plane stunt

So it starts with the red stone being buried with the knight and then the burial gets found and then the guy gets there and is like theres an ancient mystery here

And then we cut to ancient Egypt and to Ahmanet and she is going to be the queen but then a son is born but she still wants to be the queen so she makes a pact with the god of death and kills her father and the baby and then she has to like find a vessel that the god can posses and she almost does the ritual but then is found and they mummify her alive

Cut back to present day and we see our boy Nick and his friend on a way to find a treasure and Nick says cmon man just in n out like we always do, AND THEN IT CUTS TO THEM BEING FIRED AT AND NOT BEING IN N OUT LIKE THEY ALWAYS DO and honestly i laughed out loud

And they somehow survive but the explosion from the air support creates a massive hole that uncovers the TOMB WHERE THE MUMMY IS

And then we meet with Jenny who Nick stole the plan from andsleptwith- and shes an archaeologist so she goes down the hole to investigate and Nick and the guy are sent with her and then they see all the gold on the skeletons and im like DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT THIS IS HOW THESE MOVIES START but they dont listen and start grabbing all the things

And then Jenny is like we dont know whats down there in the MERCURY PIT THERES A FUCKING HOLE FULL OF MERCURY WHAT THE FUCK and there are all these ropes and stuff and shes like it to keep whatevers in there down there

So naturally Nick fucking SHOOTS THE ROPES AND THEN THE COFFIN EMERGES, WHAT THE FUCK MY GUY WHY DID YOU DO THAT THIS IS HOW THESE MOVIES START

And then hes looking at the coffin and gets like hypnotized and Ahmanet is now in his head and is like youre my chosen one and im like ooooh that sounds real bad

AND THEN ALL THESE FUCKING SPIDERS START COMING OUT OF EVERYWHERE AND IT TRIGGERED MY ARACHNOPHOBIA REAL BAD AND ONE OF THEM BIT NICKS FRIEND IN THE THROAT and Nick is like oh theyre not poisonous MY ASS THEY ARENT

But they load the coffin into the airplane and are flying to London and then Nicks friend doesnt look too good and then his eyes roll back and then he stands up AND FUCKING STABS ONE OF THE GUYS THERE AND IS ABOUT TO STAB EVERYONE ELSE BUT NICK SHOOTS HIM

AND THEN THE FUCKING CROWS JUST STORM THE AIRPLANE AND THE ENGINE GOES OUT AND THEYRE GONNA CRASH BUT NICK TOSSES JENNY THE ONLY PARACHUTE he thought there was another one AND THEN THE PLANE FUCKING CRASHES

And then were in the mortuary or somewhere and theres Nick in a bag AND THEN HE FUCKING WAKES UP. YUP. HES CURSED.

And then he and Jenny are trying to make sense of it all and Nick sees his SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD friend and he tells him to follow him and he tells him that hes cursed and then Nicks runs from the bar and on the street theres Ahmanet in mummy form AND THEN ALL THESE FUCKING RATS COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND START ATTACKING NICK AND THEN HES FUCKING SWARMED BY THEM BUT THEN HE GETS UP ON A DIFFERENT STREET AND JENNY IS THERE, WHAT THE FUCK

And then Nick is like we have to go see her corpse and hes going in a different direction that the crash site and Jenny is like ??? and they get to this church AND THEN NICKS IN THE FUCKING CHURCH WITHOUT GETTING THERE?? AND THEN ALL THESE CORPSES TAKE HIM TO THIS TABLE AND PIN HIM DOWN AND THE AHMANET IS THERE AND SHE WANTS TO STAB HIM WITH THE KNIFE BUT THE KNIFE DOESNT HAVE THE STONE IN IT WHICH SHES REAL PISSED ABOUT

And then Jenny gets there and they both escape and theyre going to the highway BUT SOMEHOW NICK DRIVES BACK TO THE CHURCH AND AHMANET STARTS FUCKING CHASING THEM AND THEN THESE PEOPLE SHOW UP AND THEY CATCH HER AND THEY CATCH NICK TOO FOR SOME REASON

And then were at the facility and the guy from the begining, Jekyl i think, is there and he tells Nick that they research evil and in the room is a fucking doctor ass bed with all of these torture things like framed and im like oh my god what the FUCK is gonna happen

And then they bring Nick into the room where Ahmanet is chained down and theyre pouring mercury into her veins so that it can then solidify and they can study her and Nick doesnt really like that and then she speaks to him and shes like i can make you a god

And then Jekyl says hes gonna let her finish the ritual so that the god of death gets into his body and then theyre gonna kill him, uknow, for the greater good and Nick doesnt really like that very much

And then Ahmanet creates ANOTHER FUCKING SPIDER that goes on to infect someone and make them her pawn BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO GO INTO HIS EAR????!!!! EEEWWWWW NOOOOO but then the guy gets an axe and breaks the electrical circuit so Ahmanet stops being pumped with mercury and then she breaks free

And also Nick and Jenny escape and Jenny is like if we can get to the stone we can destroy it and then no more ritual and they get to the underground railway AND A FUCKING HORDE OF CORPSES JUST START GOING AFTER THEM AND THEN THEY FALL INTO SOME WATER AND THERE ARE MORE CORPSES AND JENNY GETS TAKEN AWAY

MEANWHILE AHMANET GETS TO THE FUCKING STONE AND COMPLETES THE KNIFE

AND THEN NICK IS SWIMMING TO TRY AND SAVE JENNY BUT SHES TAKEN AGAIN AND THEN THE CORPSES JUST FUCKING GRAB HIM AND BRING HIM OUT OF THE WATER AND THEN THEY DUMP HIM AND BEFORE HIM IS JENNY WHOS NOW DEAD. I DIDNT THINK THEY WOULD ACTUALLY KILL HER MAN

And then Ahmanet starts again with her spiel and Nick tries to fight her but shes really fucking strong BUT HE STEALS THE KNIFE FROM HER and then she says that if he lets her he will have power over life and death and then Nick just looks over at dead Jenny AND FUCKING STABS HIMSELF WITH THE KNIFE. OH MY GOD

AND THEN THE GOD IS NOW IN HIS BODY AND HE SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF AHMANET AND THEN GOES TO JENNY AND SOMEHOW BRINGS HER TO LIFE

And then she wakes all confused bcs obviously and she sees Nick in a corner and she wants to go to him but he tells her that he doesnt know what he is anymore and for her to go and then she does go

And then he revived his friend too and theyre back in Egypt and it ends with them running towards the fucking pyramids


Alright i know that this is probably filled with mummy movies stereotypes but uknow what? i dont really care i had fun watching it and thats all that really matters

Maybe if i was a more avid movie watcher and watched more mummy movies then i wouldnt like this one as much but im not so.....

Like there are probably better ones out there, but i had fun and got to watch our tommy boy on top of that so its a win in my book

Alright magnolia time!

Okay i just wanna say i did NOT expect it to be three hours, like i usually look at how long the movies gonna be but now i forgot

But anyway, bro, did shit go down. It went down up sideways diagonaly it was fucking crazy man

Like, the opening??? they kept listing the murders and then the suicide and i was what the FUCK is going on and then it was just escalating and then BOOM the name of the movie

And then were introduced to our characters one by one and i was surprised to see the guy who played the bad guy in MI3 here i was like the dicaprio meme pointing at him

And then the guy who wants braces lost his job, and Jimmy went to Clara to apologize for fucking her when she didnt really want to???? like okay at least he apologized but like she was so valid for that reaction, and then the cop got a noise complaint to Claras appartment and shes playing music LOUD and is just snorting one line after the other im like I THINK THATS ENOUGH MAN but he still wants to take her on a date and they DO go on a date but then she runs off

And then theres the little kid Stanley and hes playing in this show and he knows a lot of things and then it shows him fucking SURROUNDED with textbooks and im like my god thats really depressing, and then its the day of the show and he REALLY needs to go to the bathroom but no one allows him to so obviously at some point it has to go out and then hes called to a one on one and he doesnt want to go because OBVIOUSLY he doesnt want anyone to know that he pissed himself and then when everyones pressuring him to go he gets angry and just starts spiting straight FACTS how kids are people too and not some toys people can laugh at

And then the braces guy, so he gets fired so he goes to this bar to get wasted and he sees this dude with a lot of cash and since he really needs that money he decides to sweet talk him but just gets more drunk and then he gets out of the bar and gets the bright idea of stealing from his boss and on the way out the key gets stuck in the hole and then he starts to feel bad about the robbery so he goes back but OH REMEMBER the keys in the hole so he decides to climb there thru a window but our cop sees that

And Frank is giving his spiel on how to get bitches and hes like REALLY into it and then this reporter wants to do an interview with him and hes like sure and then she asks about his family and he says that his dad is dead BUT HES NOT DEAD and here i thought that he maybe doesnt know that but no he does and then the reporter is like actually i know that your dad is alive why did you lie to me and he just shuts down and doesnt talk for the rest of the interview, and then he gets a call and its from the nurse saying that his dad is dying and wants to see him to which hes like FINE ill go and then he gets there and is really emotional about it and like, yea that was kinda hard to watch

And his dads wife, Jenny i think?? idk ill call her Jenny, goes out to buy more medicine for him and shes with their lawyer and is like can i change his will i dont want any money, because she initially got with him for the money but then fell in love for real and the lawyer is of course like no and then shes like WELL FUCK YOU THEN and goes to the pharmacy and the guys there are like thinking that all the drugs are for her and then one of them says some real mean comment and she just looses it, rightfully so, and then one of the things was like morphine on steroids or something and if she gave it to him it would like really impact hus recognizing abilities but would help the pain a lot and shes not able to give it to him bit she leaves the bottle on the table and then when shes not there the nurse gives it to him, and she goes to her car and takes one of his pills to kill herself i guess but then the little rapping kid finds her and calls and ambulance, after stealing her money

And then

THE FUCKING FROGS START FALLING FROM THE SKY ITS LIKE A HAIL STORM BUT WITH FROGS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON and then were in Claras appartment and it zooms in on this quote but it did happen so i think its some english saying or something idk

And the braces guy gets hit in the head with a frog and falls on the ground AND BREAKS HIS MOUTH and the cop sees this and he drags him under a roof and then when the frogs stop he takes him to his boss place so he can give back the money

And then the ambulance with Jenny gets TURNED ON ITS SIDE but then shes in the hospital and shes okay

And then it ends with Clara smiling


What a fucking movie man i feel like i havent blinked for three hours, and thats a compliment

AND THE MUSIC OH MY GOD it starts like cressending from some point until like the half mark and its REALLY intense and just makes you GLUED to it

Also i hope at least someone got an oscar for it because my GOD IS THE ACTING FROM EVERYONE JUST AMAZING LIKE OH MY GOD